And When I Come Home You'll Be Waiting
by warrior of the nile
Summary: The last thing Tony expects to see when JARVIS interrupts his work to show him the news is the fall of SHIELD, featuring their Fearless Leader and Resident Spy (plus that random guy the with wings). What he really doesn't expect is to see his Ninja fighting them. Or that his Ninja is really Bucky Barnes. Who has just so happen to been visiting Tony his entire life. Well shit.


For the unfilled prompt on tumblr's imaginetonyandbucky (who are amazing!): Whenever the brainwashing started to wear off, the Winter Soldier somehow always ended up finding his way to the Starks, and with what happened to Howard and Maria, that meant finding Tony. When Tony heard about what happened with the TRISKELLION, HYDRA, etc., he knew it was only a matter of time until Bucky showed up. Yet, despite his resolve to be a better, less selfish person, he can't help but keep this detail from both Pepper and Steve

* * *

When SHIELD falls, Tony hears about it on _the news_ of all places. Not from Captain Too Good For You America. Not from Natasha Super Secrety Secret Spy Romanov. Not even from the random guy with the wings. No. He hears about it on. The. News.

He had been in the middle of a new project for SI when JARVIS's voice broke through his concentration. "Sir, there is some interesting news footage you might want to watch," his AI informs him in a deceptively mild, but definitively commanding tone. So Tony turns to the new projection JARVIS opens up and watches in totally amazement. He is in absolute, complete, awe of the _stupidity_ their so called fearless leader had.

"You have got to be shitting me," he mutters, "Absolutely you are shitting me right now. Really Rogers? _Really_? I get that we aren't best buds or anything, but not even a text? And don't try and tell me you don't know how. Bullshit, you fucking troll. You let a complete stranger help you, but _not me_?! You know, your fucking teammate you saved the world with?!" Tony throws up his hands in complete and total exasperation. "Even I'm not that fucking stupid," he finishes his rant with an eye roll and an – almost – true statement. Kinda. Sorta. It depends on what day of the week it is, alright?

"Shall I send that to him as is?" JARVIS, the snarky wonderful AI that he is, asks.

"Why not. He might even answer back this time," Tony grumbles. It was antagonistic enough anyhow. Rogers had one hell of a time answering Tony's texts. Not that they talked a lot. But Tony _did_ offer a room in the _ugly_ Tower if he ever needed it. Or any help with technology. Cause, you know, leading techo guy _in the world_. But whatever. It's not like he actually _cares_ or anything. That would be ridiculous.

But as Tony turns back to his work, JARVIS interrupts. "That's not all Sir."

Tony takes another look at the screen and loses his breath. There, right in front of him, is _him_. The Asset. The Winter Soldier. Or rather, the Ninja, as Tony has called him all his life, despite what the man called himself. Tony's name sounded way cooler.

He can remember the first time they met. Tony must have been four or five, playing in his room while Howard was at work, his Mother was at a charity meeting and Jarvis – the original – was cleaning the house with Anna. Young Tony had been attempting to connect two wires together with his chubby toddler hands when a noise from him window made his turn around.

There, standing in front of his open window – which had been locked – was a pale man with messy hair, dark eyes, a mask covering most of his face and a metal arm. He stared at Tony with wide eyes as Tony stared right back, unafraid. Which was probably stupid. But he never really did develop any self-preservation, so...

"Who are you?" he demands.

The man blinks at him slowly before answering, "The Asset..." he sounds uncertain.

"I'm Tony. Why are you here? How did you get in? Is that a _metal arm_?" He asks the last in absolute glee.

The Asset – what a dumb name – nods. "Yes. I... I don't know why... there's something... familiar... here. I think. Something... important."

Tony nods. "Cool. Can I see your arm? It's wicked awesome. How did you get it? How does it work? Does it hurt? Can you feel things?"

"You talk a lot," he comments instead.

"Yup," he agrees easily. He's been told to shut up enough times already to know that.

The man walks over gracefully, silently, to where Tony is sitting. "What...?" he doesn't finish his sentence.

"I'm making a robo dog, but the wires won't connect right. Here," he shoves the wires into unresisting hands and shows him how to do it. Then he gives him another piece he needs help with and soon they are building Tony's robot together. The boy grins in delight. The only adults who pay attention to him are Jarvis and Anna, but they aren't very good at helping him build things like this.

They are half way done when Tony hears footsteps in the hallway. He looks up and Jarvis opens the door. "Time for lunch Master Tony," he informs him and gives him a smile, "You have been working hard I see. You'll have to tell me about it."

Tony nods happily and turns towards his new helper, but he is gone. Vanished, with the window shut behind him. He pouts, disappointed.  
"What is it Tony?"

"My Ninja is gone."

That was the first, but it was never the last. Tony could go months or years, depending, without seeing his Ninja, but he always came back. Always confused and disoriented, but he came back. He found him even after he was sent away to boarding school and MIT.

He never told anyone about his visitor. For one thing, he only appeared when Tony was alone. For another, he got into some fairly impossible places. And there was never any proof. Combine all that with the sporadic timing of his visits and Tony knew it was pointless. No one would ever believe him.

Plus, well, this is something he would only admit to himself – and JARVIS, but JARVIS knows basically everything about him, so he doesn't count – but he doesn't want to. Because what is someone actually believed him? Aunt Peggy would certainly at least look if he insisted hard enough. And what then? His Ninja would be taken away from him. He would never see him again. That is the last thing Tony wants.

Somehow the Ninja has become one of the few constants in Tony's life. And as the years go on, those get fewer and fewer. Both Jarvis and Anna are dead. Mother is too. Aunt Peggy is in a nursing home. Howard was never even an option. Obie... Stane... well, the less said, the better. He only has Pepper, Rhodey and Happy left. His bots. And yeah, maybe the team, but they don't count, not really.

So to lose that solid constant that has been there for him ever since he could basically remember? Yeah, there's a reason only JARVIS knows what Ninja means to him. Who would believe Tony Stark had that much heart anyways?

Besides, he knows what is like to almost lose him. He went through it once already. It wasn't pleasant. It had been a little over a year since his parents death and months since he had seen Ninja. He had been in the Manor, the cold, empty, _silent_ , Manor, sitting at his Mother's piano. His fingers gently brushed over the keys, making a faint noise that sounded too loud in his ears. It was going to be his first Christmas without his parents. Or, should he say, with his parents dead. He has had plenty of Christmases without his parents. Along with every other holiday. So it shouldn't be so bad.

But the knowledge that Howard wasn't somewhere inventing something, that his Mother wasn't at a charity event, was heavy on his mind. He had pushed his emotions back before, but now he couldn't. Now they were at the forefront of his mind. Rhodey always called him emotionally repressed. He... wouldn't be completely wrong.

Thus it was in this bad frame of mind that Ninja appeared. As was his nature, one second Tony was alone and the next there was someone sitting down next to him on the bench. He doesn't turn to look at Ninja right away, frankly in no mood for company. But that is hardly his fault, is it?

"It was my mother's. She didn't always have time for me – not because she was a bad Mom, but she was the husband of Howard Stark. That came with expectations that didn't always include a young child. But she would always play for me. She even taught me, even though Howard didn't exactly approve."

"Maria... and Howard... Stark. December 16th 1991... it was cold... the road was bumpy..."

Tony turns swiftly and stares at his Ninja, feeling confusion and dread. He was staring intently at the piano in front of him, hair hiding his face. What is he saying? Whatever it is, Tony gets the feeling it isn't good.

"They... didn't die instantly," he says slowly, finally turning to look at Tony. He looks so confused, but also... regretful. Just a hint of it. Just a glimmer. But it is there.

Too bad Tony doesn't care.

"You... _you killed my Mother_!" He screams at his Ninja before he propels himself forward and attacks him. They both slam into the floor, Tony immediately punching the absolute _bastard_. Ninja, on the other hand, doesn't respond. He doesn't defend himself. He doesn't try to stop Tony. He just lays there and takes it as Tony screams and hits him. He doesn't do much damage, hurting his hand more then he is hurting Ninja, but he doesn't care. He can't see beyond his parents – his _Mother's_ – murderer right now. He can barely breathe.

Only when his hand gives a sickening crack does Ninja move, catching Tony's hand and gently cradling it, leaving his other one free. Slowly, carefully, he reaches up and touches Tony's cheek. "I'm sorry," he mummers. Then he is gone. Tony is alone in an empty, cold, silent Manor with a broken hand and a head full of rage and confusion and _betrayal_.

Tony moved to California soon after.

He didn't see his Ninja for two years.

In that time, Tony had done some serious digging. He had ordered JARVIS – Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, _fight_ him – to find everything pertaining to his parent's death. Then he makes up a new file containing everything he knows about Ninja, including a series of rough sketches. What Tony found... well, it was mere whispers in the dark. The monster under the bed. The Winter Soldier. It helped, honestly, to read all of what he could find. To know that his parents weren't the only ones. They were just two in a long, speculative, list.

And, after Tony had time to calm down and to think, he regretted attacking him. Mostly. Or at least screaming at him like he did. Tony isn't going to lie, he doesn't regret punching Ninja. Except for the broken hand. That part sucked. What the hell was that guy on? Tony isn't an amateur with no clue how to throw a punch. Tony knows how to fight. So he has to be on something _serious_ because that hurt like a bitch. Combined with the fact that whenever Ninja – he refused to call him Soldier, how unoriginal – appears he is horribly disoriented... Tony gets a bad feeling just thinking about it.

He fully intends to apologize – sorta – when Ninja next appears. Except he never does. He has to wait two long years to see him again and when he does, he basically launches himself at the man again. Only this time, instead of punching him, he hugs him. The poor man doesn't seem to know what to do with this, but Tony doesn't care. He shouldn't be doing this – Stark men are made of iron – but he is just so fucking relieved to see him that he doesn't care. He came back. _He came back._ Tony doesn't have to add him to the list of people he chased away.

Pathetic. But true.

Eventually Tony feels arms come up and wrap themselves around him in return. They don't say much that visit, but that's okay with Tony. For once, he doesn't feel the need.

After that, even when time stretches between visits, Tony always knows his Ninja will come for him. He never stays long – the longest was three days after Afghanistan – but he always comes back. Tony continues to dig and research everything he can about this 'Winter Soldier' program, but it's hard. It's not like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Oh no. It's like looking for a needle in a silo full of hay – or grain technically, whatever – where needles don't exist.

So when Tony finally sees his Ninja on the news for the first time, mask free, his heart races. Shit. It can't fucking be. "JARVIS, facial scan, now!" he barks.

"Right away Sir."

"Facial scan complete. No known match dating back till the fifties."

"Forties," Tony has to lick his lips before continuing, "Facial scan for the forties – emphasis on the Howling Commandos."

"Sir?"

"Just do it!"

"Yes Sir."

Tony fidgets while he waits. There's no way. It shouldn't be possible. He should be _dead_. Of course, then again, so should Rogers.

"Scan complete. Facial match of one James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes 92% accurate."

Tony collapses back into his chair. Fuck his life. He has had Rogers' best friend visiting him ever since he was a kid. How is this even his life anymore? Isn't this shit only suppose to happen in the movies or something? Seriously.

And why was he visiting Tony in the first place? He remembers Ninja – Barnes – saying something about something important being there. Or maybe it was familiar? The words are a bit fuzzy, even if the actions aren't. But either way, he came to the mansion for a reason. Howard? They _did_ know each other during the War, even though they didn't technically get along. Well, Aunt Peggy used the phrase 'cats and dogs', so.

But he was a familiar face, no matter how much of a dickhead he was. Maybe that was the only thing that mattered? Did Nin- Barnes, damn it, even remember Howard was a massive dickhead? With the way his memory was, probably not. But why was he so confused? What did they do to him? And who are they?

"JARVIS, get me any and all information you can – on Barnes, the situation, everything."

"Certainly Sir, I believe this will be easily accomplished seeing as Miss Romanov is in the process of dumping the entirety of SHIELD's files on the internet as we speak."

Tony let's out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush. "Download _everything_. Track down any information SHIELD has on me or the suit and destroy it. No one gets their hands on it."

"Right away Sir. Uploading pertinent data of James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes aka the Winter Soldier onto a separate file for your viewing. They appear to be encoded."

He cracks his knuckles. "Well then buddy, lets get to work."

The two of them spend hours decoding and shifting through decades of data. It is tedious and time consuming and, frankly, fucking horrible. The first time Tony comes across the name HYDRA, he throws a wrench into the wall on the other side of the room. The first time he comes across the step-by-step manual on how to brainwash your very own assassin, he throws up. The first maintenance report he reads, he has to push down memories of a cold cave, stale water and choked back screams. The first mission report, well, Tony is numb by then.

By time JARVIS forces him to take a break, it is in the early hours of the morning and there is a faint tremble to his hands that Tony refuses to think about. He goes to his kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Realistically the last thing he needs is caffeine right now. But he doesn't drink tea and he needs something to do with his hands. Besides, a little caffeine might even help him right now.

His head is in turmoil from of the shit he has just read. No wonder his Ninja was always so confused. He was brain wiped regularly, emotionlessly, automatically, as if he is a fucking machine that needs fixed and not a god damn human being. What is his head even going to be like after seventy years of that? Not pretty, that's for sure. Not Captain America's best friend, for all that they share the same body.

There's still hope though. Because when Ninja, Barnes, whoever, showed up, that had to be his brain trying to resort itself. So his memories aren't completely gone. They might be shot to hell, but they are still there. And that's the best thing Tony has thought all day.

One thing is clear though. Whenever Ninja's brainwashing started to fade, he found Tony. Always. Not that Tony would know if there was a time when it happened and he _didn't_ show up. But with the number of times he did, it is a safe bet, even if it wasn't a 100% success rate. Which means he should be getting company very soon.

"JARVIS, let Ninja in when he comes, maybe direct him to me, if you can? But don't freak him out."

"Of course Sir, I'm offended that you would think I would do such a think."

Tony's mouth twitches. "I know buddy, you're a super secret stealth machine when you need to be."

"One of us has to be."

Tony full out grins at that. That right there, that's his AI growing up into a fantastic and sassy person, just like Tony always knew he would be. "That's my boy," he mutters softly.

"Indeed Sir."

Tony pours himself another cup of coffee and leans against the counter top. His brain is still racing, when isn't it, but he feels slightly calmer now. More prepared. His Ninja, his super duper badass assassin will be coming soon and Tony can deal with him now. The last thing he wants is another repeat of the horrid almost-Christmas day. No sirree, he does not. And especially not after he has finally figured out who he is.

"Incoming Sir," JARVIS warns a few minutes before Barnes – ha! – walks into the kitchen, looking like shit.

They stare at each other for a few moments, silent, before Tony offers, "Coffee?"

His mouth – and Tony can finally see it – moves into what might have been a smile, if it ever developed. He nods and goes over, grabs a cup and fills it up for himself. Yes, he does know where Tony keeps them. And how he is about coffee. The man had tried to take his one time back at MIT and Tony might have almost ripped his head off. So, yes, he knows.

"How's the international terrorist business going?" he asks. Because while he may be a genius, he can also be pretty stupid – not that he would ever admit that he totally knows that. Plus, he has no brain to mouth filter on a good day. Today is not one of those days.

"Messy," he replies.

Tony snorts. "You're all over the news you know. How's your head?"

"...Fuzzy."

He nods and promptly starts to babble. "Figured. Finally found some real information on you and _wow_ , does everything make a lot more sense. You're heads probably going to be fucked up for a while cause damn. I read those files and I totally thought I had a strong stomach, but shit. You're in for a long fucked up ride cause those scientists had way too much fun messing with your brain. Like, seriously, way too much fun. Of course what do you expect from a terrorist group trying to take over the world. They-" he stops because a hand is now covering his mouth.

"You talk a lot," Ninja tells him and yeah, he tells him that _a lot_. Because it was true and is true and always will be true. It is a fact of life. Tony Stark talks way too much. Ninja moves his hand and Tony can see the dirt on them.

"You need a shower. And food, but definitely a shower first. Come on, my clothes shouldn't be too tight on you. I'll have a massive amount of Italian waiting for you when you're done. You do still like Italian, right?"

The other man just nods and follows him silently into the bathroom.

"Have at it, ask JARVIS where to find me when you're done," Tony tells him and shuts the door. He makes a quick run to his room and finds the biggest clothes he has – stolen from Rhodey long ago – and drops them off before going into the living room. Within short minutes there is, as previously stated, a massive amount of Italian waiting on the coffee table.

Tony is already helping himself to the garlic bread when Ninja walks in, MIT hoodie just fitting, shaved and hair pulled back into a wet bun. It's a good look on him. He sits down and starts eating without a word. And damn can that man eat. It's like watching Rogers when he's hungry. It's pretty damn impressive actually. Neither say anything until they are both done.

"How's the head?" Tony asks again.

"Still fuzzy... better, but fuzzy."

"Remember anything important?"

"To the end of the line," he mummers.

Tony nods. "Right, probably talking bout your bestie Steve Rogers. You know, big, blonde, runs around in a flag, you were trying to kill him earlier?"

"Bestie?"

"Oh yeah, I found out who you were fairly quickly without the mask. And I know you technically aren't suppose to tell amnesiac people stuff, but this can hardly count right? So you're James Buchanan Barnes, but you went by Bucky instead. You grew up in the forties and were bffs with Steve Rogers, who was a sick, sick puppy until he got super beefed up and saved the world from super Nazis. Seriously, I should know, Howard never shut up about the man. He even has this creepy collection thing I try never to think about. Didn't like you though. Consider yourself lucky, you weren't missing much.

"Everyone thought you were dead, but you weren't because the super Nazis – HYDRA – found you instead and turned you into their own personal toy assassin. You know, when you weren't being used as a human Popsicle. You were basically a ghost in the system, but now everybody knows about HYDRA and you because another good old spy dumped everything onto the internet. I've been doing damage control, but it's a mess. Seriously."

Tony turns to look at Ninja, or Barnes, no you know what, he's Ninja. He is Ninja because he can't remember Barnes and he sure as hell isn't calling him Bucky unless the other man asks him to. And not James, because he already has a James. No matter that he doesn't call him that, that's not the point. But anyways, he looks over at Ninja, who is pale and shaking and shit. He might have gone overboard, a bit. It's a failing of his.

The longer he stares, the more he has a longing to reach over an just... poke Ninja. Like, a really insanely strong urge that is so not going away. Just one little poke. Or maybe one big poke. Two small ones? After all, what could happen? It couldn't be that bad. He pokes Bruce and nothing happens. No, self-preservation isn't really a thing either.

But common sense, or rather the sound of Pepper yelling at him, wins out and he doesn't. He still has to sit on his hands to stop himself though. Ninja looks over at the movement questioningly. "Just be happy I'm not poking you," he replies.

There's that almost smile again. "Happy," he echoes.

"Smart ass."

"Punk."

Tony beams at him. There we go. "So any future plans?"

He shrugs. "Unfuzz my head?"

It's more of a question and not even a word, but it's good enough for Tony. "Great. Any plans for tall, blonde and spangly?"

"No."

"Super then. It'll just be the two of us – well, plus JARVIS and the bots – and we can watch movies and paint our nails and tell each other secrets. It'll be the greatest slumber party ever!"

"I request you paint mine green Sir," his AI chimes in.

Ninja's almost smile gets just a little bit bigger at that.

-xxXXXxx-

Over the next week... something is established. Not a habit, not a pattern, because Tony defies those by breathing, basically. But it's something. Something comfortable. Turns out living with a former brainwashed assassin whose brain technically still needs debrainwashed isn't all that bad. Sure he was confused as hell most of the time and spaced out a lot. He woke up screaming when he finally did fall asleep. Sometimes he got overwhelmed.

But he also put up with Tony's babbling surprisingly well when it wasn't about him. Well, he already knew Ninja had _some_ tolerance, but it's more than some. He's even better than Pepper when it comes to putting up with it. And he was fascinated by the lab. When he was in the right head space, he asked questions upon questions about this invention or that. Or, instead, he would play with the bots. Watching was frankly adorable.

He loved movies, especially the old sci fi ones. Tony took great detail in showing him both Star Wars and Star Trek and then starting a debate over which one was better. They ordered from a number of different places because Ninja loved trying the different foods.

The past is never brought up, not yet. Tony continued to decode the files and began compiling lists and strategies and ways to thoroughly destroy HYDRA once and for all. He can't believe the idiots who let them grow – inside of fucking SHIELD no less. Didn't Howard know anything? He finds it much easier to forgive Aunt Peggy because he knows that if she had any clue, she would have burned them to the ground. And then spread their ashes on the wind. Or maybe even in space. Aunt Peggy is _fierce_.

And he is Peggy's godson. He inherited her spirit, if not her genes. He will finish this. He will burn HYDRA to the ground. He grew up on tales of Captain America, a stubborn kid from Brooklyn who never gave up. He was told of his sassy best friend who was always by his side, no matter what. He was mesmerized by stories of a rag tag team who took on HYDRA without flinching. True as years past some of that turned to bitterness of never being good enough. But at the heart of it, he still feels like that young boy sometimes, hanging onto Aunt Peggy's every word.

HYDRA is as offensive to him than it is to any of those who still remember them. Because those stories meant the world to him and it is deeply ingrained into his brain that HYDRA is _bad_ , is _evil_ and is to be stopped at all costs. That was just the way things were. Even without reading their files, he would want to stop them. But reading them, knowing full well what they did, well, any doubts he may have had at the back of his mind fled in an instant.

Tony is sure Ninja has at least guessed what he is doing, but he never says anything. Now is not the time.

And so the week passes. And then so does the next and the next and soon it has been a month since Ninja showed up. He is doing better now. His brain is mostly defuzzed and some of his memories are starting to come back. Take it they are coming back very slowly, but it's a start. And he still gets confused sometimes, but who could blame him? Nightmares are not to be mentioned, but considering both Tony and Ninja have them – along with the occasional panic attack – Tony isn't really worried.

But here is where Tony runs into a problem. No one still knows that Tony is keeping the ex assassin in his basement. In a figurative sort of way, he is hardly going to keep Ninja literally in his basement. He's not that much of a dick. But still, by all rights he really should tell someone. Rogers maybe, or Pepper or, hell, even Bruce.

But he hasn't said a word.

Take it, neither has Ninja. He has never expressed any true desire to talk about his past, whether his childhood or his time with HYDRA. He has access to that information courtesy of a Starkpad Tony gave him, but if he reads it, he has never mentioned it to Tony.

The point still remains, he should tell someone. Rogers. He should tell Rogers. It's not fair to keep his best friend from him. Tony has seen the look on his face when the two of them were forced to fight. The blonde's expression is pure anguish. He has no right to keep this a secret. He knows if somehow this was Rhodey, he would want someone to tell him. It's not fair.

Not that anyone has ever accused Tony of being fair. Or selfless. Or kind. Or, really, a number of other positive things that most people strive for. He is a selfish, insensitive dick and he has the self awareness to know this. He may have changed since Afghanistan, but not enough to make him into a good person.

He hides behind the excuse that Ninja never asks. If he wanted to see Rogers, he would say something. He is a grown man. He is, they are both starting to learn – or relearn as the case may be – a very sassy man. If he wants something, he can bring it up himself. He has before. Take it, it was movies he wanted to watch, but still. Progress. He was probably just waiting for his head to be screwed on a little better, that's all.

Which is fine, the excuse works great for a while, but the thing is, time passes. And time passes rather quickly and before Tony knows it, it has been six months since Jamie – he is Jamie, or technically James now and wasn't that a conversation – has arrived and never left. They are sitting on the couch, left over Chinese cartons scattered across the coffee table when Tony decides to bring it up. After all, he is technically an adult, maybe he should try to act like it.

"So, cupcake," he begins in typical Tony Stark fashion, "how's it shaking?"

"Fine," he answers warily, clearly wondering what is going through Tony's head now. It's a valid question.

"You know our six month is coming up, you want anything?" Like, oh you know, to see your best friend? Or even just leave the Tower.

"Besides the island I asked for? How about admitting that I am much prettier than you are?"

"Lies and slander!" Tony declares.

"But dollface, don't you love me anymore?"

It descends from there. Tony never brings up the topic again, even if he technically never brought it up in the first place. Clearly if the man is that much sass, he can think for himself. If he wants to contact Rogers, he will. The guilt still makes itself known, but Tony pushes it to the back of his mind.

In this way more months pass and before either of them know it, Jamie has been living there a year. It has been easier than Tony thought, hiding his guest from the world. The occasional Avengers Assemble call he had received has come to a stand still since the fall of SHIELD. They are scattered in the wind for now. They'll come back together for the next big threat, Tony's sure. But for now there is no danger of his team dropping in. Tony already has a space just for them in the works.

And JARVIS always announces Pepper's visits, so that's no problem either. Rhodey hasn't been stateside enough for his visits to even factor in. Happy usually never comes into Tony's living space. And that's it. That is the extent of it.

For the first time in a while Tony is actually content with his life. It wouldn't be his without issues of course, but for now they are relatively minor. That'll change in time, it always does, but he's no hurry for it to. He's actually happy. What a strange feeling. He could almost get use to it. It's all fine.

Until the day he wakes up, having fallen asleep with Jamie on the couch during another movie marathon, and realizes that he is in love with the man. Well shit. That leads to a freak out of massive proportions. Because first of all, what the hell?! Where did that even come from? Just because Jamie is snarky and smart and terribly attractive and loves his bots and just _gets_ Tony, does not mean he should fall in love with him.

For another the man is still dealing with his shit. He's a fuck ton better now, but he still has his issues. So does Tony, but he ignores that.

Third of all it's probably due to some close proximity bullshit. The only other human interaction he has besides Jamie is Pepper. Well, meaningful interaction anyways. His Board doesn't count or his R&D or those dumb galas Tony can't get out of. They are boring and stupid and only like him for his money. Or his looks because he is an attractive man.

Fourth, it is a terrible, terrible idea because he is a terrible, terrible boyfriend. Just ask Pepper. There's a reason they didn't work out and it wasn't her. Because Pepper is perfect and an angel and basically stands for everything good in Tony's life. If he can't make a relationship work with _that,_ what makes him think he can make one work at all.

And lastly, _no one knows Jamie is living with Tony still._ A year and still no one knows. It's a problem.

Wrap that all into one and it's a disaster waiting to happen. He can't do this. He can't. He is finally happy and if he tries to do anything about this, that will change because he'll ruin everything. So he pushes those emotions down, down, down. And if they occasionally pop up at inopportune times, well, that's no one's business but his.

It gets even worse then, because a psycho who he pissed off a really long time ago that he barely remembers pops up and the Mandarin makes an appearance and Extermis happens and well. Basically his life goes to hell in a hand basket. Pepper gets injected with Extermis and becomes a ticking time bomb and even more badass. Rhodey joins him in saving the President... and so does Jamie.

Jamie is a sight to behold when he is pissed. A slightly horrifying sight, sure, because in that moment it is very clear how he became the Winter Soldier. But mostly a glorious, awe inspiring sight. Beautiful. Stunning. Deadly as hell. Tony loves it. He'll never admit it, to Pep anyways and probably not Rhodey, but he might be having fun. He's ever so slightly terrified, but with Rhodey one side and Jamie on the other, he's never felt more confident in a team.

In the back of his mind, he can feel a tingling of irony. Wonders if Rogers is watching this and wondering why he didn't get a call. Pay back and all, that bastard never did text him back. Hopes he isn't because Jamie is in no way hiding. And boy oh boy is Rogers going to be _pissed_ if he is. Maybe he'll get lucky and think he joined on his own. Right.

That's a hope right up until Jamie kisses the hell out of him at the end of the fight. And Tony kisses him back. If the good Captain ever sees that, it might kinda be a clue that the two are rather well acquainted. Maybe.

The fall out isn't pretty. Pep is furious that he never told her. Which isn't exactly good, considering she could still blow up. He fixes that. He really does. He removes it from Pepper, makes some necessary adjustments on it, gets rid of the arc reactor and then injects himself with the improved formula. Not that he tells anyone that last bit. This whole experience may have taught Tony his genius is his weapon – not that he didn't know that before, but still – but it also taught him something else. Always have a fucking back up plan.

Rhodey alternates between laughing, banging his head on the wall and cussing Tony out. It's the response he expected really. He offers him way too much alcohol to make up for it. He had a horrible hangover the next morning.

And then comes the storm of outraged texts from his so called team he hasn't heard from in a year. Romanov sends a series of trolling messages heavily implying that she could have done better. And wondering why exactly his new toy looks like Bucky Barnes. Barton is pouting that he missed out on the fun. It seems he legitly wanted to help, but didn't find out in time – welcome to Tony's world. He even got an odd text from someone named Sam Wilson, who was apparently the random guy from the HYDRA mess, which, what the hell? Bruce is the most understanding of the lot and is mainly checking in. Thank god Thor was out of planet. He would have been pouting along with Barton. And then he have Rogers.

Rogers, who showed up at the Tower two weeks after this happened, three days after Tony has had his surgery and injected himself. He's pretty glad he did now. Because the look on Rogers' face. He thought Rogers was going to be pissed. He was wrong. Rogers looks beyond pissed now. Rogers looks ready to tear him limb from limb without regret. Shit.

"Where. Is. He," Rogers demands more than asks.

Yeah, super glad he is extra durable now. "Rogers-"

"No Stark. If the next words out of your mouth aren't where Bucky is, I am going to tear your tongue out."

A shiver runs down Tony's spine. Double shit. He knew this was going to end badly.

"Calm your shit punk, I'm right here."

"Bucky!" Rogers exclaims, face lightening up with joy. The change is startling to say the least. Talk about mood swings. Rogers takes a step in Jamie's direction, but he gives a sharp shake of his head and Roger freezes.

Jamie pushes off the door frame he had been leaning against and walks towards them. But he doesn't move to embrace the blonde, but to put himself between him and Tony. He can tell by his stance that he is planted himself in front of him, arms crossed, glaring. He did the same thing with Pepper, when she could still explode. "No," is all he says.

"Buck?"

"I go by James now. Jamie if you're Tony, or Ninja, depending on the day. He didn't keep me from you Stevie, no matter what he thought."

Tony gives a jump at that. He didn't realize Jamie figured that out. Although he should have, he is the equivalent of Romanov after all. Maybe even better.

"He gave me the room I needed to get my head... unfuzzed," and Tony knows he is smirking as he uses that not-word, "He gave me the space and time I needed to make me feel human again. He never pressured me into anything. He was good to me punk, so don't go blaming my fella."

His fella. Ridiculous. Now to convince the warm feeling spreading through his body of that.

"Why him?" And Rogers voice is painful to listen to.

"Because I always did. The brainwashing... didn't always stick. It wore off eventually if I was unfrozen long enough. I always went to the same place – the Starks."

"Buck-"

Jamie shakes his head again. "Course I didn't know why. Maybe things would have been different if I found Howard the first time. But I didn't. Instead I found this cute punk who talked too much building a robo dog. Guess that stuck cause I always found Tony after that, not Howard or even Maria," he shrugs, "Knew he was safe. Always knew he was safe even when I forgot everything else. Of course he was the one I went to."

Rogers face... god his face. Tony is glad it is mostly blocked by Jamie's body. It makes him feel even guiltier, even if Jamie just said he wasn't to blame. Wasn't he? Shouldn't he have tried just a little bit harder? Not enough to pester him, but maybe enough to change his mind. The two men standing in front of him have been through hell together. Who is he to stand in between them?

"I love you Stevie, but I'm not the man you knew. I'm not Bucky, I don't feel like Bucky even if I have most of his memories. I feel like Jamie, like Ninja, like cupcake and fruit loop and robo cop and whatever crazy name Tony has thought of today. You're not the only one now punk. And don't try to tell me it isn't the same for you."

But Rogers shakes his head. "I have friends, but they aren't _you_. It's still always been you."

Jamie sighs. "You always were ridiculously stubborn, see that hasn't changed."

Rogers' mouth twitches, "Not hardly ya jerk."

Jamie finally steps forward and the two of them hug it out. For a long time. Tony starts to feel like he is intruding and begins to leave when they pull away and Jamie stops him. He wraps an arm – the metal one, the one Tony remade for him – around his waist and settles against Tony's back. "Stevie, this is my fella Tony. Doll, this is my stupid ass punk Steve."

Tony snorts. "You don't say oh Ninja of mine."

"Why Ninja?" Rogers asks.

"Because I was four and he just turned up in my room through a locked window without a sound. What else was I suppose to call him? Plus Soldier is just unoriginal."

Jamie chuckles and Rogers rolls his eyes.

"Alright, enough emotions. Buttercup you know I'm allergic to emotions. And I'm hungry. Pizza?"

"Sure thing doll."

"Joining us Rogers?"

"Um... if it's not too much trouble."

"Oh sure, now you turn all shy and gee shucks. Too late for that Spangles, pick a topping," Tony commands. "You've seen Lord of the Rings yet?"

"I've read the books."

"Oh it is _so_ on, movie time! Come on, pizza topping Rogers, hurry hurry and into the living room. We have some very important educating to do." Maybe this won't be so bad after all.


End file.
